Filed under: alltag, made in berlin | Tags: friedrichshain, krankenschein, kreuzberg
No! it’s not what you think! I AM NOT faking.
But the festive German tradition of the Krankenschein is new to me and causing pangs of guilt and confusion. It seems too good to be true….there must be a catch. I wasn’t prepared for this, my doctor didn’t brief me. I get a whole week? Just to recover from swine flu (diagnosis courtesy myself, M.D.)? Am I supposed to work from home during this time? Am I allowed to watch TV?
Concerned and afraid, I asked my good friend E, resident expert on being a USAmerican in Berlin Germany. Ever thoughtful and ready to help, she created a personalized itinerary.
ME “What will I do?”
E: “well, when in Rome…” (i.e. unemployed in Kreuzberg/Friedrichshain)
8:30 crack day’s first beer on U1 near kottbusser tor
9:00 switch to U8, continue drinking, become slightly more belligerent
10:00 find creepy fluorescent-lit bar/arcade in neukölln where you can spend the morning
12:00 lunch of cheap döner (yell at turkish worker while enjoying his food!)
1:00 sell drugs at görlitzer park
2:00 buy beer (and whole chicken) at that stand by görlitzer park
3:00 arrive at alexanderplatz by mysterious means. sit on the fountain and heckle tourists
4:00-4:30 stumble down skalitzer straße, buy a beer, cross the oberbaumbrücke, meander towards favorite strandbar on simon-dach
4:30 arrive just in time for happy hour(s)
4:30 – 7 chat with your fellow stammgäste about being on hartz iv. try with little success to engage young tourist couple.
7:00 abendbrot! beer is like the new bread.
8:00 accidentally join a group of american coolios for a concert event in friedrichshain basement. they dig your “homeless” look and give you drugs. vice germany photog very interested in your eyepatch.
8:15 things turn sour. asked to leave
8:30 forcibly removed
9:00 [no data available] remainder of day spent in blackout, emerge approx. 10 hours later at hookah bar on simon dach reeking of pot and fryer grease. leer at spanish tourists.
Thanks E, always lookin out for a homegirl.
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